It makes me really, genuinely, sad to have to write this. Scouting has been a HUGE part of my life for the past 8 or so years. I never thought I’d voluntarily stop Scouting but here I am, giving it up.
The truth is, I never really fitted in at Explorer Scouts. I’ve been at my Explorer Scout unit for over two years now and have seen many people come and go yet I never really felt like I fitted in with anyone there. I just couldn’t be myself around those people which is what drove me to leave in the end. I don’t feel as if I fit in anywhere at the moment, not even with my friends and family but that’s another matter.
So I didn’t see the point of carrying on going to Explorer Scouts when I just felt so out of place and couldn’t enjoy myself because of this. I think it’s a good time to move on from something when you stop enjoying it, or at least that’s what I’ve been telling myself since I decided to leave.
Leaving Explorer Scouts, however, means that I also have to stop volinteering with Cub Scouts, which is something I love and am deeply sad about giving it up. I do feel like I’ve gained a lot from the past two years I’ve been volunteering there. I’m more confident in my socialising skills for one thing and I like to think that maybe I helped to make those kids lives a little better and a little happier. I’ll miss them all, especially as I never got to say goodbye, but I’ll always remember them.
I do feel as if a part of me is sort of missing now that Scouting is no longer a part of my life, but I am ready for the challenges that my next adventures bring, whatever they may be, and will always cherish the memories and friends I’ve made over the years. I just need to keep telling myself that I am NOT giving up, I’m just moving on to find something that makes me happier, and that’s okay. 🙂
So this morning me and my family went on a lovely (but very windy – seriously it took me ten minutes to brush the knots out of my hair, it was sooo painful!) stroll along one of our local beaches. This used to be my favourite of the four beaches near us but now it is always packed with dog walkers which gets a little annoying. However I still enjoyed going there today – I’d never turn down the opportunity to see the sea!
After strolling along the beach and dunes (and getting stones in my hiking boots, no idea how, so I had to precariously lean on a wall and tip my boot out) we decided we hadn’t quite had enough fresh air yet so climbed up the headland. There are some great views from the headland (although it is ten times windier so my hair would beg to differ) which I tried to capture on camera but miserable failed.
We walked along the headland for a bit to my new favourite beach. It’s a pebble beach and it’s really secluded so it is never busy. It is really nice to just sit there and stare out at sea and feel as if you are on the edge of the world.
After that we trudged back to the car and I came home to a pile of revision and homework which even after one week of the spring holidays I have barely scratched the surface of.
And deciding that I could spare a couple of hours (I really couldn’t) I uploaded all the little video’s I took today and made a Youtube video which I also decided needed to have me playing Vance Joy’s Riptide in the background. Here it is, I’d love it if you could take a look and let me know what you think! I’m still not really used to Youtube so sorry if this is awful!
From watching that I have now realised just how weird I look when I’m walking, haha. Also I messed up the guitar a bit so sorry about that.
Anyway, today has been a very creative week to be honest. On Friday I made a banoffee birthday cake for my mum:
And I also made (and fell in love with) a henna jar using an empty jar and sharpies which I am really pleased with and must make more of!!
And I have also got rather addicted to Instagram so lots of photography has been going on this past week!!
So, that’s all for today. Tomorrow I am going into school in the middle of my spring holidays to do half a day of French revision which should be good because I love French so much (although I do have to get up early).
Bye for now! 🙂