//And here marks the end of my social life//

Not that I have one anyway, a social life I mean, but if I did it would end here.

Basically my exam timetable came in the post today which means time to start revising properly. Great.

Here is said exam list:

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I have 17 exams in total but the list is incorrect and only has 15 exams because it’s missing my English and Maths exams.

If it was any other subject, I wouldn’t really be too bothered that my teachers had somehow forgotten to enter me into the exams but it’s English and Maths which are the most important exams I am taking. And my school forgot to enter me for them. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

What’s really annoying is attached to the back of the timetable is a note saying ‘if there are any mistakes with your exam timetable, please contact the exams office before 12th February 2016.’ which, you know, would be fine if I could magically travel back in time 8 days and get my timetable fixed but unfortunately I haven’t graduated from the University of Gallifrey yet so am not qualified to fly a Tardis. Who knows what I’m going to do now…
Anyway on a brighter note (if you can call it that) I did two whole hours of maths revision today. 🙌🙌🙌 I’m actually managing to stick to my revision timetable AND I did a practice maths exam and got 45 out of 54 which was surprising considering maths is my worst subject.

It’s been really rainy and grey the past few days so I haven’t been able to go out much (completely changing track I know but I haven’t talked about the weather in a while). Plus it’s nearly the end of Winter and I still haven’t seen even one tiny speck of snow other than those on my snuggly penguin socks and these cool emojis: ❄❄❄❄❄

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(The socks are awesome, right?)
Well I’ll just have to hope that next Winter it will be more snowy in England (or that I win the lottery and spend Winter somewhere cold and snowy but that is very unlikely).

Hope you are having a good weekend so far and better weather than me, bye!

Em. 🙂

//Body shaming is never ok//

 

So I wrote this post a while ago, before I made my other blog private. I wanted to share it on here again with a but if editing because I still feel very passionate about this issue and want to make others aware of how body shaming effects many – too many – people in a daily basis. I understand that this could be considered to be a controversial topic and I am sorry if my opinions offend anyone. Just remember these are my opinions though, I’m just sharing them, not trying to enforce them on to you.


 

The media plays a huge part in body shaming and creating the idea of what a ‘perfect’ body looks like. They portray models as being extremely skinny and claim that this is the type of body that is considered attractive and what everyone should aim to look like. I personally think this is extremely wrong and messed up.

There is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ body – everyone of all shapes and sizes are attractive and shouldn’t feel pressured to change the way they look to suit societies deluded interpretations of beauty.

In recent years the media has come under attack for presenting the ideal image of people – particularly women – in such a way that suggests only women who are thin can be attractive. Obviously this is not right and many people have spoken out against this. You don’t have to be thin to be attractive. As I said earlier, no matter what shape or size you are, you are unique and beautiful the way you are.

Although I agree with this opinion that models should be a range of sizes and that beauty has no set guidelines or criteria, there are lots of things I disagree with too.

Take a look at these pictures:

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All of these pictures are designed to make people who have experienced discrimination for being ‘too large’ feel more comfortable about themselves. They fight back at the media’s image of what a ‘perfect’ women should look like.

But to me, they don’t say this at all. They don’t say that it’s alright to be whatever size. They don’t say that discriminating against anyone because of their size is wrong, no matter what size they are. They simply put down and discriminate against skinnier people to make others feel better about themselves. It is disgusting.
When people think of body shaming, they generally think of people being labelled as ‘obese’ and ‘overweight’ and ‘ugly’ because of the way they look. The majority of people would agree that this is wrong, that it is perfectly fine to be a different size to that portrayed by the media as an ‘ideal skinny woman’ and that if I posted some pictures that discriminate against larger people, they would be disgusted.

However, some people would look at the pictures I posted above and say that they are ok. That it is fine to call skinny women ’12 year olds’, ‘ugly’ and ‘only attractive to dogs’. Some people would say that being skinny is healthy and fine and that thin people have nothing to worry about. They would say that it doesn’t matter if they are discriminated against  because they already possess the ‘ideal’ body image. Some people can’t see that this is just as bad as discriminating against larger people and any other form of discrimination.

It is sickening that people discriminate against others to make themselves feel better, it really is and it needs to stop.

Here is another photo that I would like you to think about:

How do you think this makes thin people feel? To be told they are not ‘real women’ and to be told to ‘get over’ their insecurities and be called all manner of names just to make other women feel better about themselves.

Also, how do you think the photo’s I posted before make ‘skinny’ people feel?

I myself am considered ‘skinny’ and have been called anorexic countless times. I have been told to ‘just eat more’ and asked ‘do you actually eat anything’ and told ‘you have twig arms’.

And yeah, I may be so used to these comments that I’ve learnt to just laugh it off and accept people’s ignorance, but that doesn’t mean those comments don’t hurt me. They do. They really do.

But people don’t see that this is wrong. To be called anorexic makes me feel so upset and so bad about myself because of all of the negative connotations of the word. I know I am underweight. I know I am flat-chested and have no curves whatsoever but I don’t need to be told this every single day.

It seems whenever I confide in anyone, including my closest friends, about how I have been bullied for my weight and told I am ‘too ugly’ to ever have a relationship, they just tell me that being called all these things is not the same as being called ‘fat’ and that I shouldn’t worry about my body because I am already thin and meet societies standards. They tell me to ‘just eat more’ and that it is much easier to put on weight than to loose weight. It makes me sad because I thought my friends understood, I thought they were different but unfortunately it is evident in the way they look at me when I wear size 8 skinny jeans that are still too big for me or when they say ‘I’d rather me fat and happy than skinny and sad’ on a regular basis as if my presence is offending them in some way and they think I am ‘fat shaming’ them just by being skinny, that they are not different.

In reality, most women that are considered thin have fast metabolisms, like me, and we cannot simply ‘eat more’ to put on weight. It doesn’t work like that. People often tell me they are jealous of me because I can eat ‘whatever I want’ and not put on weight, that whenever they even look at a cake or chocolate or anything for that matter, they put on weight. This simply not true. I can’t eat whatever I want. I still need to eat a balanced diet like everyone else and it is no good telling me to eat more because I already eat lots of food and can’t seem to put on any weight. I don’t want to be skinny but people can’t see that I am trying to put on weight and that it really upsets me when people call me anorexic and say I should stop starving myself because it is not true.

I found these pictures which sort of sum up some of the things that have been said to me regarding my weight and how I look. The sad truth is there will be many other men and women around the world who have had these things said to them too.

Finally I would like to say that any form of body shaming is wrong and that even though this post as been mainly based around skinny shaming, it does not mean I don’t think any other type of body shaming is wrong. Skinny shaming is something I have had personal experience with so that is what I wanted to talk about but please don’t think I am trying to say any other type of body shaming and discrimination isn’t as harmful and wrong as skinny shaming because that is not what I believe at all.

This is what I believe:
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Although I know no amount of raising awareness of body shaming is going to completely eradicate it’s presence in our society, I can’t just sit back and watch it happen to others as it has to me in the past and still does now. It’s just one of many problems in the world – along with sexism, racism and ageism to name but a few forms of discrimination – that in an ideal world can be tackled by uniting as people. But this isn’t an ‘ideal world’ so for now all we can do is spread the message and share our stories.


 

Em.

@em_is_lost99

 

//Escaping from life//

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So this week is half-term which means one whole week off of school. So far I’ve been pretty busy being sociable and meeting up with friends which isn’t something I normally do but it’s been fun. I’ve also been doing or trying to do some revision but lately I am so exhausted it takes me forever to get anything done.

I love half-terms though because I can escape from the stress of school for a bit and relax. As an A-Grade procrastinater, I am very good at finding ways of escaping life.

For example some mornings I spend literally hours experimenting with my hair and make up or painting my nails and whatnot.

I also spend a lot of time drawing and doodling and painting as it just helps me to clear my mind and forget about the stresses of life.

Today for example I spent a good two hours learning to play Listen to the Man by George Ezra on the guitar. My hand is absolutely killing me now but it felt great to put all of my effort into something other than schoolwork.

My main form of escapism though is definitely (and obviously) blogging. I just love. Being able to write down whatever pointless ideas come into my head and hit the publish button, knowing that someone somewhere may read my crazy ramblings and I might inspire them to write something or think something or do something or whatever.

Blogging has been a part of my life for 10 months now. Although there was a time at the beginning of the year when I thought that I needed to take a break and that giving up blogging would be for the best, I was convinced by myself and other bloggers that I should carry on. Even if I don’t have much time for blogging in the coming months due to exams, it feels good just to have this blog set up and ready incase I need to get thoughts out of my head and write them down here.

So, this was me escaping from my life for a little while. Now I better go back to reality and try to make a dent in my ever growing pile of school work.

🙂

//Follow your own path//

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I am a strong believer that everyone is capable of achieving
their dreams and that there are many ways of getting there.

Although in the UK it is drilled into us that we need to pass our GCSEs then we need to go to college then university etc, this is not the only way of achieving what you want.

Personally I am more of an academic person so I cope well (ish) with exams and school work and what not. Being at school motivated me to work hard and get the grades I want so I can give something back to my teachers but I know others aren’t like me.

It makes me sad that our education system doesn’t work for everyone. There are too many people in my school and my friendship groups even that just aren’t motivated to work hard because the system doesn’t work for them and some find the sheer work load just too indimidating.

I like to keep on top of my work load but some people get buried under the weight of it all – I expect I will too as we get nearer to exams.

Although I know I will need to work hard and put all my effort into my A-Levels next year so I can go to university and study history, I know that there are other ways to get to a career in history.

I have a plan b and a plan c and a plan xyz – well, I haven’t thought out these plans in exact detail but that’s not the point. The point is that if your first plan fails, it doesn’t matter, there are other ways of getting to your goal for example apprenticeships.

What does annoy me though is when people don’t put effort into their exams because they can’t be bothered and know that they can do a course at college no matter what GCSE grades they get. That makes me very sad because these people will look back and wonder where they could be now if they had tried to the best of their ability. But that’s their problem, not mine.

I can’t wait to go to college and begin the next stage of my journey. Most of my friends are taking different paths to me though and going to different colleges/sixth forms and studying different things. But that’s ok because I know they’ve found they’re own paths and it makes me happy that they have the confidence and determination to pursue their own unique pathways.

What are your next steps in education? Do you want go to university? What career would you like?

I find it interesting to hear what other people want to do so please comment below! 🙂

Now I must get back to revision, I’ve been in town all day with my friends and haven’t managed to do a single piece of work I had planned. Ooops. I did however buy some lush (my West Country accent is showing… 😂) matte dark red nail polish and some really really dark blue skinny jeans so I have done something productive…

Anyway, I hope you’re having/have had a lovely day! 😉

Em @em_is_lost99

//Is it summer yet?//

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View from my window.

Don’t you just love those days when you open your eyes and the sun is shining through your curtains, making your whole bedroom glow? And when you open your curtains, the sky is bright blue for as far as you can see? I do.

These are the days that make you think ‘today is going to be a good day’ and make you wonder if you’ve skipped forward four months and woken up in summer. (Until you go outside and realise it’s still a cold, British winter).

Days like this are the best.

Em @em_is_lost99

//That thing called love//

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I’ve never been in love, not the romantic, relationship kind anyway. I do, however, have lots of people I love in my life and since it’s Valentine’s day I thought I would dedicate a post to them.

I love my family. Despite the fact that they annoy me and argue with me and upset me, I can’t say that I don’t love these people because I clearly do otherwise I wouldn’t feel so sad after falling out with them. I love how we do the weirdest and randomest things, how we share all the special milestones in our lives and how we see each other grow as people throughout our lifetimes.

I love my friends. Despite our occassional disagreements and fallings out, I really couldn’t live without them. We have made so many memories together that I will cherish forever. I love how we have little inside jokes that no one else would understand and how we can have really deep conversations one second then be joking around the next. I love my blogging friends because they are always there to support me and advise me and although I have never met them in person, I trust them greatly and love talking to them. I love how we can have the weirdest conversations and how they make me feel welcome in the wide world that is the internet.

Thank you to all my friends and family, I love you all so much even if I don’t show it all the time.

See? Just because I’m not ‘in love’, doesn’t mean I don’t love anyone or that no one loves me. And the same goes for you – you, whoever you are, are a much loved person so this Valentine’s day take some time to think about all the people who love you and who you love. I promise it will make you feel a whole lot better. 💕💕:)

Em @em_is_lost99

//Fresh start//

Hi.

It’s  such a small word but can have so many meanings and is used around the world millions and millions of times everyday. I think we hear the word ‘hi’ so often we sort of just ignore it and don’t think anything of it. In actual fact, ‘hi’ is often the first word we say when we meet someone new so really shouldn’t just be overlooked because it is what we use to subconsciously form first impressions of people.

I’m not good at introductions and I’m terrible at meeting new people so I rely on saying hi a lot to get me out of awkward silences. Like when you have to buy something from a shop and awkwardly hand over whatever it is so the cashier can scan it without appearing extremely ungrateful or rude. Yeah. Hi has saved me a lot of times.

That’s why I’m going to start this blog by thanking the word ‘hi’ for always being there and having my back.

(By the way I probably should have mentioned I am just a tiny bit weird so you should probably run away now while you have the chance).

Bye, thanks for reading (if anyone actually made it to the end)!

Em. 🙂