OKay. So. I don’t know where tihs post is going to go, tbh I’m just sort of rambling aimlessly because I’m having ALL THE THOUGHTS about EVERYTHING and like, I just need to write?? Idk.
I keep thinking about how as teenagers, we’re constantly changing as we grow up anf from day to day, as we learn more and experience more, we become “new” people, constantly updating ourselves as it were. Reading back through some of my older blog posts made me realise how much I’ve changed since then, and thinking back I can remember myself writing those words and how I felt at the time, which sounds kind of weird but yeah (I would say there’s a point to this but there really isn’t so..just bear with I guess?).
It does make me a bit sad thinking about who I used to be, but then at the same time, I’m proud of how much I’ve grown up, who I was then, who I am now and who I will become. I’m looking forward to a point in a few months or years or so when I’ll think back to now and feel all sentimental about the weird teenager I am now.
I seem to spend most of my time worrying about the future, what with the mess that politics is becoming and the looming threat of irreversible climate change which sits on our shoulders, gradually pressing down on us, not to mention my uncertainty and indecisiveness about what I want to do in the future and at uni and just EVERYTHING. But I guess it’s nice to have something to look forward to, and I do look forward to learning more about the world, trying out new things and gradually connecting more things to the person I am now (that was really badly explained, appologies, I just..don’t really know how to put it in to words!).
I love when I wake up and it’s sunny and the sky is actually blue, it makes me crave adventure and I just want to run outside and just go and explore the world. Today is one of those days I guess! And that’s kind of what lead me to writing this I guess, because that longing for adventure reminds me of past me’s, something that ties who I am now to all the other past versions of me there have been. It’s nice, because I’ve sort of lost my sense of adventure over the past few months because my minds been in other places (*cough cough* A LEVELS) but now it’s back, and I feel more “me” than I have in a while, and it feels like home. Even though I probably won’t go out and do anything mildly adventurous today – although cycling is pretty tempting – I’ve started dreaming of future adventures again, which I love doing.
I’ve also got a few “adventures” planned for the next few months – I’m going to take the train down to see my sister at university in a few weeks, even though I have to get up at 6:30am to make the train, and won’t get home until after 10pm (I have to get up at 6:30am for college the next as well, rip the six hours of lessons I have that day), I’m really looking forward to it! It will be refreshing to get out of town and the train journeys nearly 4 hours long so it will be nice to sit back and enjoy the scenery! Then later on in the month, we’re going down in the car to pick my sister up from uni for easter, but we’re going to spend the day there before we leave and explore the city more, because although I’ve visited a few times, we’ve been too busy with uni stuff to explore much of the area.
Something else I really want to do, but probably won’t get round to doing, is to go somewhere new on the bus because my college bus pass means I can travel for free around my county and into neighbouring counties and considering I have two days off a week, it seems silly not to take advantage of this! My only problem is, me going to a new place by myself is a daunting thought. I mean, despite my love of exploring the great outdoors, I have a terrible sense of direction and time, so I’d probably end up missing the last bus home or something and being stranded! But we shall see, the days are longer now, so it makes it easier to go out somewheere for the day without being stuck in a new place in the dark.
Ooh another thing I want to do, but also probably won’t get round to, is do a cycling/camping holiday because I REALLY love cycling and camping and it would be so cool to travel around by bike and see new places. I don’t know if I’ll be logistically able to though, but I’ve been doing some research and planning so maybe at some point in the future I’ll be able to do it.
Well, I think I’l have to conclude this ramble here, as I need to go off and do my French homework now.