It makes me really, genuinely, sad to have to write this. Scouting has been a HUGE part of my life for the past 8 or so years. I never thought I’d voluntarily stop Scouting but here I am, giving it up.
The truth is, I never really fitted in at Explorer Scouts. I’ve been at my Explorer Scout unit for over two years now and have seen many people come and go yet I never really felt like I fitted in with anyone there. I just couldn’t be myself around those people which is what drove me to leave in the end. I don’t feel as if I fit in anywhere at the moment, not even with my friends and family but that’s another matter.
So I didn’t see the point of carrying on going to Explorer Scouts when I just felt so out of place and couldn’t enjoy myself because of this. I think it’s a good time to move on from something when you stop enjoying it, or at least that’s what I’ve been telling myself since I decided to leave.
Leaving Explorer Scouts, however, means that I also have to stop volinteering with Cub Scouts, which is something I love and am deeply sad about giving it up. I do feel like I’ve gained a lot from the past two years I’ve been volunteering there. I’m more confident in my socialising skills for one thing and I like to think that maybe I helped to make those kids lives a little better and a little happier. I’ll miss them all, especially as I never got to say goodbye, but I’ll always remember them.
I do feel as if a part of me is sort of missing now that Scouting is no longer a part of my life, but I am ready for the challenges that my next adventures bring, whatever they may be, and will always cherish the memories and friends I’ve made over the years. I just need to keep telling myself that I am NOT giving up, I’m just moving on to find something that makes me happier, and that’s okay. 🙂