//I’m not okay//

I’m not okay.

I’ve known this for a while now – I haven’t been ‘okay’ for a long time. I’m not really sure what okay feels like right now, but I know this isn’t it.

I’ve always struggled with telling myself, and accepting, that I’m not alright and that it’s okay for me to not be alright, so that’s what I’m doing now. I’m not really sure what to do about it at the moment – I’ve tried taking a break from the internet; I’ve tried taking a break from real life. Nothing really made much of a difference.

From the outside, I might look like I’m fine – I’m quite good at doing that – but really that’s not the case.

I haven’t entirely got my head around everything that has happened in the past few months – I’ve said multiple times that it still feels like March to me because I guess the stress of exams was so overpowering that it was as if time stood still for a few months. And now here I am trying to process everything which happened in between. I’m a bit stuck, really, it feels like there are 1,000,000,000,000 problems rattling round inside my head and I can’t even find a solution for one of them, mainly because I’ve got into a habit of overthinking everything until something becomes 100x worse than it actually is.

I’ve become a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to blogging, so I’ll probably end up deleting this in a few hours – I didn’t want to write this but I have a habit of bottling everything up and I feel like it’s time to stop doing that and even if I don’t write down every little detail here (because who would want to read that?), this is a start.

I just want you all to know, that it is certainly, definitely okay to not be okay. We’re only human, after all, and the fact that we don’t feel okay all the time quite frankly just proves that. Life is full of ups and downs, we all know that. I know one day that I’ll be okay again. I don’t know when that will be or how I will get there, but I’ve made it this far and I’m not giving up. ❤

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Author: Em is Lost

I'm a teenage blogger who loves adventure and the great outdoors. I enjoy blogging about a range of topics including scouting, politics, feminism, world affairs and the life of a teenager in general.

26 thoughts on “//I’m not okay//”

  1. Aww Em, you’ve already taking a step in the direction of being okay. The fact that you’re not giving up is so admirable, believe me I’ve given up so many times before. Just know that you’re not alone, you’re not the only one who feels this way. One day you’ll feel okay, one day it’ll be okay, but for now just hold on, and if you ever need anyone to talk to I’m here x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Em. We’re all ears if you ever need to talk about something. (can’t believe I just said ‘all ears’, lol) Anyway, just keep staying strong. I hope when the gcse results come you will have a small weight lifted off of your shoulders. remember that you’re not alone. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Aww Em I relate a lot to this post, but you’re right: it’s okay to not always be okay and it’s good to let it out like this. Sending you a big hug and I hope you’ll feel better soon ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I’m here for you *big Moomin hug*

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  4. It’s okay. Everyone gets lost in life~
    You’re awesome and you’re doing fine, so don’t worry too much about it! Thank you for your encouraging message that you gave to us in spite of your own worries. You are a very kind soul who is very valuable and inspirational. You got this~
    I hope that you have a wonderful day and that you find your groove again soon. You’re doing fine 🙂

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  5. NOOO MY EMMYBEAN I’m always here for you if you need me, even if you just need to rant or not talk at all and just be talked to. LOVE YOUUUUUU AND TAKE CARE BECAUSE YOU ARE AWESOME OK xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sorry to here that but thank you. I hope you find your way back to happiness too and remember, ‘happiness can be found even in the darkest places if one only remembers to turn on the light’ (think I quoted Dumbledore correctly).

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  6. In time things get better and remember where you are now, will not be the same place in time, how you feel will change and it will pass. Stay Strong 🙂 Love reading your blogs and people are right, here is a perfect place to express yourself. 🙂 I’m new to this but enjoy reading peoples blogs and relating to many.

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  7. I always feel weird when I read something like this knowing that someone has written it because I feel like they’ve buried into my head and turned all of what I believe looks like tangled wires into coherent sentences. And then I realize it’s all a part of being human that we can relate to each other and often go through the same and feel the same.

    Em, just the fact that you believe that it’s OKAY to not feel alright goes to show that you haven’t given up and that you’ll make it through your struggles. I’m no one to say this but I really believe in you, you WILL make it out of this in the right time, so that’s why it’s alright not to feel fine at the moment. Sometimes we take our own time to recover from things and the time we spend recovering is in itself the process of healing, so that’s why I’ve come to accept that if I don’t feel fine for a few weeks and if I need to stay away from everything and everyone for a while, then that’ll be absolutely fine because without that I won’t be able to be my real self. I’ll be this annoyed person who lashes out at people and who finds joy and satisfaction in nothing, and that is in no way helping my situation. (Let me just say that this might not go for everyone, and if things carry on for too long then one needs to seek help from a specialist).*

    * Oh when you don’t go by your own advice, sigh!

    Hang in there, Em. I believe in you. ♥︎

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I feel the same reading other peoples thoughts sometimes. I think the fact that we CAN go through the same things as others and feel sympathy for them is really great because sometimes it helps us to help ourselves too by realising that there is a way out of it and we need to believe in ourselves as much as others believe in us. Thank you for saying all this – you’re right, sometimes to stay true to ourselves we have to accept and overcome our struggles in our own time and taking time out to do that ISN’T selfish (which is something I should probably remind myself from time to time). We also need to remember that it is ok to seek help, and that’s what I’ve learnt from the wonderful, supportive people of the blogging community. Whether you seek help from friends, family or a specialist, it doesn’t mean your giving up – it just means your taking the first steps back to recovery and as I’ve learnt from experience, you usually feel a lot better after letting it all out. Even writing it down in a notebook can help too as it helps you get your head around your thoughts and tackle them one at a time (that’s something I’ve been doing for the past week or so). 🙂 Thank you so much Zin – and remember,I believe in you too! ❤

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      1. Your message is so lovely and heart warming, I want to bookmark it and include it in my list of “things to turn to whenever things get difficult.” Sometimes when so much is going on you just need a reminder, and you fail to remind your own self but that’s only natural, so I think that’s why a lot of us might try to deal with things by watching/reading/eating/doing their favourite stuff to feel better while we also very much need that reminder that we once gave someone or said when things weren’t too rough. It’s wonderful to know that people who are seas away care for you and have your back. *Shakes off all these emotions* WE ALL BELIEVE IN EACH OTHER WOOOOOT! Hahaha, I just haaad to throw in some caps and enthusiasm into the atmosphere. I’m always here if you (should I really finish it because it’s said a LOT) but just know that I mean it! Much love x

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I think I could probably do with one of those lists too and I’ll definitely add your comments to it because they really have helped me to cheer up a bit and believe that I CAN make it out of this, whatever it is. Exactly – sometimes it’s hard to take our own advice or even realise what advice we need to give ourselves – helping others is by far much easier. It is wonderful – that’s the magic of blogging and the internet – we meet all sorts of people who we grow to care for and it makes you realise that no matter where you are in the world, there will always be someone who shares the same experiences and feelings. YES WE DO AND IT’S WONDERFUL (yay for caps!!) I am always here for you too, even if though I can’t physically be there with you, you will always be in my thoughts, along with all my other amazing and fantastic blogging friends. xxx

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