My old blog was my literally baby – for nine months it grew from a weird collection of disjointed rambling to an even weirder selection of disjointed ramblings with a small follwership of around 150.
I learnt so much from blogging (mainly how to express my feelings and emotions in actual WORDS instead of just bottling them up all the time) and I am grateful for every single thing that blog taught me. Through that blog, I discovered a love of writing and developed my different writing styles. I also learnt to appreciate the little things more – like when someone takes the time to leave a nice, thoughtful comment on one of your posts and you realise there is still some good left in humanity.
What I miss most about that blog though is not the 100-odd posts I had put my heart and soul into (not really, most of them were pointless anyway) but the people.
I miss the people and the friendships that that blog gave me. For once i felt like I was surrounded by a group of people who actually cared and appreciated me.
Sure, I still keep in touch with some of those people through Twitter and some have found my new blog. But it’s not the same.
I pulled the plug on that blog, cut the power. Rather too abruptly than I’d have liked.
I’d loved to have been able to do one of those posts where I announced my departure from the blogosphere, gave my reasons and told you my new blog url.
But I couldn’t.
Not because I physically couldn’t post it. It’s not like someone forced me to abandon that blog. It’s just I couldn’t shake the ever growing feeling that people who I know in real life had discovered my baby and had access to basically a diary of my feelings and emotions which I NEVER (hardly ever) say out loud.
I may have just been overreacting. I mean, my parents aren’t the best at technology, they may not have even thought anything of it when I accidentally told them my Twitter handle for my blog account that was LINKED TO MY BLOG but you never know.
So basically I want to appologise to the people I left behind. To them it must have felt like I had just disappeared, given up on them or they probably just didn’t care, you never know with internet friendships. But I cared and I miss them. I followed all the blogs i used to follow on my new account. I am trying to rebuild those friendships but – and I don’t blame them for this – they don’t know it’s me. To them, my comments are probably just seen as those of a stranger, a random person who has found their blog because of xyz reasons. It’s sad. I don’t want to feel like that person who ‘let them down’ so I’m appologising now, even though they probably won’t read this or remember me.
So, that was the end of my baby. 😦
However, I now have a new baby – baby no.2 – and I am determined not to have to abandon this one too.
Even though it is unlikely that I will ever have the same friendships with my old blogging friends, I will try to. Damn it I will.
If there is one god thing that has come out of starting a new blog, it’s the sparks.
The sparks that will form new friendships and bonds, just as good or maybe even better than those I had before, who knows.
Having a new blog has given me the chance to meet a new corner of the internet and I’m grateful of that, even if I regret having to leave my old blog behind.
So, here’s to the next few weeks, months, year (?) that I spend blogging here and all the new ‘sparks’ that form. 🙂
P.S Sorry for all the weird analogies in this post. We had a power cut last night and it really made me think about how leaving my old blog behind was just as quick as having a power outage, as if all the little sparks of light that had been formed on my old blog had just…gone out.
As you can tell, I am in a bit of an odd/hyper/optimistic mood but hey, that’s me for you. 🙂